​​​​​​​In our fast changing world, the ability to be resilient in more important than ever. A resilient person has the ability to bounce back from adversity faster and often learning from the experience. Building resilience begins when we are infants. Babies learn to walk through trial, practice and lots of bumps until one day they have you running all over the house after them.

We tend to think about childhood as a carefree time, but youth alone offers no protection against the emotional hurts, challenges, and traumas many children face. Times that children need to be resilient can include changing to a new classroom, social challenges amongst peers, trying to fit in or belong, not getting the mark that they had worked for or missing out on a place in a team. Adding to that the uncertainties that are part of growing up in a difficult world and therefore childhood can be anything but carefree. The ability to thrive despite these challenges arise from the skills of resilience.

The good news is that resilience skills can be learned.

Building resilience is the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, or even significant sources of stress. This can help children manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. However, being resilient does not mean that children won’t experience difficulty or distress.

Children may be starting to form new friends and participate in new activities as they grow. As they start to learn about life outside of their homes, they look to teachers as well as to parents to make them feel safe and to help sort it all out. Make sure your child has a place where they can feel safe, both at home and school.

When your child has questions, answer them honestly and with reassurance that includes simple statements that let them know you are taking actions to keep them safe and that you are there to take care of them. Listen to their concerns and fears when they tell you about them and let them know you are there for them. When there is a situation outside of the home that is frightening, limit the amount of news your children watch or listen to. There is always the possibility that they misinterpret what they see or hear on the news. You don’t need to hide what’s happening in the world from your children, but neither do they have to be exposed to constant stories that fuel their fears. Check in on their understanding of what they have been exposed to. As a parent, realise that extra stressors may heighten normal daily stresses. Your children might normally be able to handle a failed test or teasing but be understanding that they may respond with anger or bad behaviour to stress that normally wouldn’t rattle them. Reassure them that you just want what is best for them and that you are there for them.

Strategies to Build Resilience

You can help you child build resilience and confront uncertainty by teaching them to solve problems independently. While a parent’s gut reaction might be to jump in and help so that the child avoids dealing with discomfort, this actually weakens resilience. Kids need to experience discomfort so that they can learn to work through it and develop their own problem-solving skills. Allow your child to experience disappointment and times when they may not come first, second or maybe even third. Help you child to persist and keep trying, but remember disappointment enables your child to develop persistence and positive growth. This is turn builds resilience. Practise gratitude for the small everyday things. Remember that happiness, if I …. then I will be happy. It is about being happy for what is. Teach your child empathy, as this also helps to grow resilience when situations are challenging.  

Pina Pikos - Assistant Head of Student Wellbeing P - 2 (Mt Ridley)